Popcorn
by The Jasper Raven
Summary: What happens when you put a vampire beauty queen and a small town wolf girl in the same room with popcorn and a chick flick? [No pairings]


**Title: **"Popcorn"

**Authoress: **Sasukez

**Book series: **Twilight

**Pairing: **Rosalie Leah (non-romantic pairing)

**Rating: **T For: mild language, sexual humor

**Occasion: **MyFantasyDreams's Twilight FanFic Challenge

**Disclaimer: **The book series, Twilight, and all its characters belong to Stephenie Meyer. The single joke about the Nix is by vegeta8639 and MasakoX from the Naruto Abridged Series on Youtube.

**A/N: **I'm entering this FanFic in a FanFic Challenge held by MyFantasyDreams. Its my third Twilight FanFic and my first doing something besides EdwardxBella. The second challenge this months was to write a Oneshot with either the characters Emmett and Jacob, or, Rosalie and Leah, participating in a movie night together. I chose Rosalie and Leah, one: because I hate Jacob, and two: because I can do a girl's point of view better, me being a girl myself. And I like Leah and Rosalie. I'm not that good with Humor so forgive me if my jokes are lame. Read and enjoy!

COOKIE AWARD WINNER! http :// www . dumpr . net /photos/185998/723c5d0eb15593ba/

**Set: **After Breaking Dawn.

* * *

"Caaaarliiiiisle!"

"Now, now Rosalie. I'm not letting you back down now. If the rest of your siblings have to do it so do you."

"But Edward doesn't have to do this!"

"Edward's got an excuse."

Rosalie glared at him. If by excuse he meant he was out back in his little Snow White cottage banging the brains out of his wife then yeah. He hit the nail on the head there. So while the rest of them had to go on these ridiculous werewolf dates, he got to spend the night drowned in ecstasy. Yeah. That was totally fair. Edward could have fun all night with Bella but she couldn't do so with Emmett? And Alice couldn't do so with Jasper if she so desired? Sure Carlisle. Way to play favorites. For such a brilliant surgeon he sure was no Dr. Love.

"If you set me up with that filthy mongrel Jacob Black, I'll tear out your eyeballs and use them as earrings."

"Love you too Darling."

Carlisle and Sam of the Quileute pack had sought to solidify the bond between their two "families." So, they thought it was a brilliant idea to set up four werewolves and four vampires on blind dates to spend some quality time with each other. Thought they didn't know it yet, Alice had been sent to Port Angeles to spend a night out with Seth Clearwater. Emmett had been sent to La Push to play video games with Jacob. Jasper would be bowling with Quil within Forks. And Rosalie…well…at least it wasn't Jacob. Three, reluctant, knocks echoes within the Cullen house.

"I will destroy you," Rosalie growled, tawny glare intensifying.

Carlisle simply smiled and pushed her towards the door, her high heels digging two long trenches in the floor as he did so.

"Be nice," he hissed to her before answering the door with a smile.

Leah Clearwater was just as unhappy to be their as Rosalie, despite Carlisle's cheerfulness.

"Evening Miss Clearwater!" he greeted, her, both hands gripped around Rosali'es arm to prevent her from fleeing the premises.

Leah forced a half smile onto her face with much effort, and twitched at every word she said through her clenched teeth.

"It's a pleasure to be here Mr. Cullen."

Twitch. Twitch. Twitch, twitch.

An awkward silence passed, the ticking of a clock deep within the house echoing ominously around them. Carlisle glanced between the two girls rather nervously, suddenly realizing how different they really were just by choice of clothing alone. Rosalie had a very sophisticated look about her in her gold high heels, dark navy skinny jeans, tight white T-shirt, and black, high collar jacket as well as her gold bracelet and indigo earrings and necklace along with her flaring red lips and light blue eyelids adorned with black eyeliner. Gasp, gasp. And let's not forget the golden hair pinned up a little but also falling around her shoulders and her long, indigo fingernails. Phew! Pant. Gasp…Yeah. You get the point. Rosalie was very done up and as beautiful as ever.

Leah was--thankfully--a much less exhausting story. She simply wore white sneakers half covered by dark blue, baggy jeans that dragged on the ground but were tighter at the waist. Her top was simply a tight white T-shirt. Her dark hair framed her face and feathered around her at neck and shoulders. See? Much easier! Thank you Leah!

Carlisle was delighted, however, to see a similarity between the two. The sent each other near identical, challenging glares and crossed their arms over their chests at nearly the same time. Things were going to be great!

"Well!" Carlisle said, suddenly breaking the unbearable silence. "Play nice! I'll be in Vegas if you need me!"

"Wait! What?"

"Bye Honey!"

Before either girl had a chance to comprehend what exactly had just happened, the lead vampire had vanished out the door, the screeching tires of his Mercedes the last they heard of him. Another awkward silence. I have a feeling we'll have a lot of those. Hooray for awkward silences! Woot!…

"Soooo…" Leah started, scuffing her shoe against the floor.

"…How bout them Nix?" Rosalie attempted to joke.

"The who?"

"It's a basketball team."

"Oh. Cool."

Silence.

"Sooo…you like basketball?" Leah asked.

"No. But Emmett does."

"Oh…He's the big guy right."

"Yupe. In more ways than one!"

Rosalie burst into laughter at her own joke. Leah just stared at her, blinking a few times but staring nonetheless.

"It's a joke. You know?"

"No. I don't know."

"Okay then."

…More awkward silence! Yay!

"Sooo…wanna watch a movie?"

"Yes!"

Leah quickly covered her mouth after the desperation in her reply.

"I shall make popcorn!"

"I shall find a movie!"

They split up in a whirl of desperation to escape one another. Rosalie slammed her head into a cupboard in the kitchen, leaving a splintery dent in the wood. Leah slammed her head into the wall in the living room, a bit to hard, and ended up holding her head and screaming in silent agony. Rosalie squeaked, knowing Esme would do unspeakable things to her if the kitchen even had a scratch on anything inside. She quickly tried to piece the splinters together. Leah stumbled around the living room holding her head an d trying to stop seeing double of everything round her. She fell onto the couch pressing her palms to her forehead, cursing herself for being able to bruise.

Rosalie finished attempting to piece back together the damaged cupboard. It still looked scratched so she reminded herself to blame Edward. She would claim he did it during his unconditional journey of love with Bella. Yeah! That would work. Sure. She quickly whipped up an enormous bowl of popcorn and headed back to the living room. Leah heard Rosalie coming and quickly pulled her hair over the forming bruise on her forehead and dove towards the cabinet of movies. She fumbled through the silver discs and picked some random DVD. She didn't bother reading what it was and shoved it into the DVD player. She quickly climbed onto the couch, sitting very straight and folding her hands in her lap. Rosalie arrived and sat the exact same way, placing the bowl of popcorn between them.

They stared at the dark TV screen. Rosalie slowly lifted the remote and played the movie. Unfortunately for them, that random movie Leah picked was "The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants."

"You like 'The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants?'" Rosalie asked in disgust.

"You _own _'The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants?'"

"…Touche."

Once the move started after the opening credits, Rosalie claimed the first piece of popcorn. Leah claimed the second. Rosalie took another. Leah did so too. The consumption of popcorn remained that way for the rest of the night. In an attempt to lighten up the atmosphere, Leah started making fun of the movie.

"I can definitely tell who's getting the first STD," she scoffed.

"Who? Blondie soccer chick? Its that obvious isn't it?" Rosalie snorted.

"So obvious."

"The only character that is remotely cool is Goth girl."

"Totally. I mean, I love Alexis Bledel but her character's such a wimp."

"At least she's an artist. Better that than a stripper."

They both laughed a little. The moment was fleeting. Fifteen more minutes later, Leah was half laying on the couch, her upper body laying on the pillow. Rosalie sank back into the corner of the other side of the couch.

Fifteen minutes later, Leah had her legs crossed on the coffee table as she sat. Rosalie lay upside down on the couch, legs hanging over the back.

Ten more minutes later, Leah was curled in a ball on her side of the couch. Rosalie sat with her knees to her chin.

"Ha! I knew she was going to get knocked up!" Leah suddenly exclaimed, tossing a piece of popcorn at the blond having sex on the beach.

"I don't think she gets pregnant but she does go into a spiraling depression."

"Sweet! Does she kill herself? That would make my day."

"Unfortunately no. There's a sequel remember?"

They both groaned simultaneously. A few more seconds passed until Leah made her next attack on the movie.

"If they keep it up they are going to have some bad cases of scrotch."

"What the hell is crotch?"

"When you get sand in your crotch."

"Ew. Sounds painful."

"It is. Especially for boys."

"Good. This guy deserves it. Manwhore."

The movie ended and they burst into laughter at the idiocy of the movie.

"Since when do pants mean anything in life?" Leah laughed.

"I'm so sure you can drown via denim," Rosalie said sarcastically.

"My lucky pants made me lose my virginity," Leah said in a high pitched voice.

"Oooh I love stupid movies," Rosalie sighed.

"What bimbos!"

They laughed together for a while longer before sighing simultaneously. Another silence but this time it wasn't awkward.

"Well I guess that's it," Rosalie said, standing up and stretching.

"Hallelujah."

Rosalie showed her to the door but stopped when she noticed Alice in the kitchen.

"Alice? What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be in Port Angeles?"

"Rosalie! Leah! There you are! We've been wondering where you were all night!"

Before they had time to ask, Alice jerked them out back to Edward and Bella's cottage. Music was beating, lights were flashing, and drinks were splashing. All of Rosalie's siblings and the other three members of Leah's pack were there, partying their brains out.

"This was here…the whole time?"

"…We could have…instead of…"

"Quit gawking and start partying!"

Rosalie and Leah turned to each other very slowly and stared at one another before breaking into wild dancing for the rest of the night. Now there was a way to bond.

…Meanwhile in Vegas, Carlisle spent his night getting attacked by strippers because he was so damn irresistible. Woot.

* * *

**Author's Review: **I know. It sucked. It wasn't funny and it was rushed. Overall a piece of crap. Don't worry! I'll definitely rewrite it when I'm in a funny mood. Review regardless and if you have any jokes you think could help make the rewrite funny. I'll gladly accept them. Sorry about the upset!


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